Mom
Cold as a stone.
Slower than Molasses in January.
Rough tough cream puff.
You don't want to go to the doctor, they will only give you medicine that will make you feel worse.
On one occasion mom was sitting at the dining room table and as I came into the room she said -- "You, you are so ornery!" to which I responded "Yep, just like my momma." We had a good laugh at this as it was so very true.
One one occasion my mom's height was measured at 4 ft. 8 in. While we were waiting to see the doctor I commented that she had always said that she was 5 feet tall to which she responded: "Yes and I always will".